mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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