that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
