Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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