Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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