Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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