belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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