I think I won the penis lottery.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
