Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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