I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize