Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
