grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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