I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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