Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
