just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
