is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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