margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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