I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
