So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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