It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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