Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
