is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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