i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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