Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
