She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
