I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
