I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
