The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
