There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
