We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
