I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
