he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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