The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
