we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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