fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize