Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
