he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
