i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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