I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have demons in me.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
