she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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