It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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