you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
