We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
