you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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