Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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