well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
