I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
