Plan B is the new Plan A
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
