Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
