I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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