No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
