My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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