I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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