why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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