To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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