Farmville is her only friend.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
