how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
