you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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