I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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